Roti Pisang

With the finals over, I finally got rid of that I-wanna-puke-every-5-minutes feeling...

The past week has been, erm, I'll define it as bittersweet.

Just when I thought Contract Law was bound to slaughter my CGPA, along came Malaysian Legal System, sneering as it sung silently in its demented soul "na na nana na, you're gonna fail me...".

Ok, that "na na nana na" thing was a little too much, even for me. But my point is, I think I speak for everyone when I say we overlooked Malaysian Legal System. I answered 2 questions, averagely. Totally screwed the "which court?" question, and I think the darling lecturer would be literally rolling on the floor with laughter screaming "this idiot thinks he's a law student!" when she reads my "advocate & solicitor" answer.

Owh I'm so uninspired. I promised myself I wouldn't rant on this blog. I didn't want to end up writing posts about how my day went, how I'm feeling and what not. I'll let the bunch of people who are way more interesting, fun and cooler than me to right those posts. [yes Lynette, Ruby, NKC, Rishi, Joanne, I'm talking about you guys...] But look at me now, contradicting my very own self, being the hypocrite most people say I am...

Ok then. I'll stop...








I found you back, and I always knew I would, because I never stopped caring for you. It was nice talking to you again. It was nice seeing again, even though it was only for a mere half hour...

I sometimes feel that you see right through me. You know me more than anyone ever did, or even ever will. The fact that I can't do what I do best; I can't fake a smile, I can't lie, I can't even be happy without you not noticing it, it scares me to death. But it's amazing how after three weeks of silence, you still manage to say aloud the things which would kill me if the world knew.

It was that simple sentence.

"... Anda, even though you hate each other, you can't deny the fact that the both of you have the same mindset..."

I've denied it many times in my head. Just because we share the same birthday, it doesn't mean we are the same. But the truth is apparent. I know it is. I just thought, if I kept on denying it in my head, I would eventually never think about it.

...


I was packing the few belongings I had kept in my room. As I picked up my foundation notes, images of the young[er] me flashed across my eyes. God I can't believe I actually wore that. God I miss those times. God I miss him. God I miss her. God I miss the way things were...

I love it how you will find the most nostalgic items when you're about to leave a place. I was dusting the shelf when I found that blue book. It stood out awkwardly beneath the extra Federal Constitution I had bought and my most favourite book, Where Rainbows End. I tried to hide the smile that was forming in my face. I failed miserably.

That night, together with my "1Malaysia" [my landlord had called my group of multiracial friends as 1Malaysia, which made me think "...if only she knew the things we say to eachother..."] friends, I cleaned my new apartment, though it was Katherina who actually did most, if not all, of the cleaning. While cleaning the apartment, my new housemate, Su, told me someone had given him curtains for his room. I told him I'd already bought the fabric, and was waiting for my dear mother to sew it into curtains.

... I asked him what colour was his curtains. He said black and white.

... I got excited and screeched, "OMG MINE TOO!!!"



Hours later, he told me she had given him the curtains.




As I said, we are very much alike, no matter how much we deny it. And I'm not talking about same choice of colours when it comes to curtains. Or same taste in food. Or being born on the same day. Or both being unbelievably stubborn. I'm talking about literally being the same person, but in two separate bodies...

I don't hate you. I never did. And I don't mean half the things I say about you. How could I. Hating you would mean hating myself. And I don't think my ego could handle that.



...



Did I mention I have moved apartments? I went from living in the coolest place in MMU to the place where no person wants to live. Dodgy, the ghetto, people call it. But the way I see it, isolation from MMU? Allah has truly answered my prayers. Thank you Kai Choy and Kat. And thank you Izzat and Su. For all the help, despite my over the top demeanor, lack of masculine strength and argumentative nature.




And to Rathi and Adiba [cherish this moment for eternity, because I'll never ever be this nice ever again, not even on your, and by "your" I mean "my", wedding days], 2 years later, and massive changes everywhere, it's nice to know that we have beaten all odds, and remained together. I love you both, even more than my beauty products.






And people laugh when I tell them I should've taken Creative Multimedia instead of Law? I totally don't get it. Jealous bitches.

Taa, happy hols.